Unemployed and Loving It
I quit my job! The job I hated; the job that seemingly hated me. I finally quit! And now I’m free from the burden that was dragging down my life, my confidence, and my chance at happiness. Now, entering my second week of unemployment, I’m still living in a state of euphoria. I’m relieved I don’t have to put up with the corporate chaos anymore, and I’m pleased I will no longer be anyone’s undercompensated ghost employee, but most of all I’m proud that I stood up for myself and for what is right.
I was unhappy at my job for a long time. I tried discussing my concerns with my superiors, and I was promised many times that things would change. Things didn’t change. Yet I stayed. I was scared. However, now that I’m on the other side, now that I’ve already quit, my old reasons for being scared to quit just seem like a disguise for the real reason – insecurity.
Insecurity and lack of self-confidence have always been things I have struggled with and have often lead me to situations like my job where I don’t stand up for myself. Now that I finally did, the pride and accomplishment that I feel is mixed with guilt and regret. Why didn’t I quit sooner? I feel used. I was used to progress the careers of others and put money in their pockets while I put my own career advancement on hold. I’ve been a pushover, a sucker. According to my thesaurus, a synonym for pushover is easy prey. I don’t want to be anyone’s prey. Past situations, professional and personal, keep running through my mind like a slideshow, where I should have stood up for myself but didn’t. The empowerment I experienced from finally gaining the courage to stand up for what is right makes me ashamed of those situations from the past. Never again do I want to be anyone’s prey. Never again do I want to let my insecurities cheat me out of success in life. I’m determined to use my newfound empowerment and self-confidence to help the new me find a new career and a new happy life.
While I do feel pressure to figure out the next step in my life and find a new job, for now I’m just enjoying the well deserved time off. I worked hard at my job, was treated unfairly, and found the courage to stand up for myself and quit. That’s a big accomplishment for me, and I intend to recognize it and celebrate it! The first thing I did was take a celebratory trip to Las Vegas, and while I was hoping to win a jackpot to ease my anxiety about where my next paycheck will come from, my long-sought liberation was definitely worthy of using my last paycheck for a Vegas-style celebration. The second thing I did was nothing. Doing nothing is amazing! To finally be free from stress, regret, uncertainty, and just general unhappiness is indescribable, and I took full advantage of the chance to relax and feel at peace with my life and my decisions.
The next thing I plan to do is figure out my next move. Just as my old job was stressful and negatively impacted my self-worth, being unemployed for too long would do the same. I know I can have a great career, and I won’t stop trying until I achieve it. Now is the perfect time to begin that journey. After ridding my life of the negativity caused by my job, nothing is dragging me down. My thoughts aren’t consumed by dislike for my job and about my decision to quit, and I have a clear mind. Now I’m able to focus clearly on finding a new job and the career that I’ve always wanted.
At times I have a moment of panic when I realize that I gave up a steady paycheck and a six-figure income, but no job is worth sacrificing myself and my happiness. I left with my dignity, my self-respect, and a newfound confidence. And I fully intend to take them with me, intact, on my journey to a new career and a new life.
